Human Design Gate 53: The Drive to Start

Nationals 2017: On Starting.

I was so sick. I spent the entire day before this race in bed. I woke up race morning feeling like 💩. Although my fever seemed to have passed, I had a cough that made me shake. I said, “I guess I shouldn’t race,” to @ptmcdougall. He replied, “A DNS [did not start] isn’t any better than a DNF [did not finish]. You can always stop.”

As I write these words now they seem so simple. They are simple and they resonated with my soul. They resonated with what I now know is a huge part of my Human Design: Gate 53–the drive to start.

And so I started. I remember thinking, “I’m pretty sure this is the flu,” as I pushed off the dock for the swim start. The swim and the bike “happened.” Not quickly, but not that slowly either. (I honestly don’t remember much.) By the time I got to the run, I was excited. I was letting my body do its thing while my mind watched and laughed at the ridiculousness of the whole experience. My legs wanted to run fast, but every time I sped up beyond a certain pace, I’d get dizzy. So I settled into a pace that kept me upright. And this photo—the one that people have said is “totally badass”—is of me simply trying to stay upright.

Let’s get back to the lesson of this day. Before I was born, my soul gave me the gift of starting, of leading with my body’s need to be in motion—a gift that could easily be ruined if I got in my head. Pete got me out of my head and into my body and reminded me that I’m here to start. And for that, I am forever grateful.