sometimes soul expansion is sole expansion
Let's hop back to the '90s for a sec.
I had the perfect dress for the 7th and 8th grade semi-formal dance. It was a red floral number with off-the-shoulder straps and a knee-length poofy skirt. I loved it. I'd probably still love it (with a few updates).
But shoes. I needed shoes. So, my mom took me to the local department store where we waited patiently in the ladies' shoe department. Finally, the salesman--a short-ish guy in a fancy suit--came over to help us. He asked me what size I wore. "11," I told him.
He looked disgusted and, in what sounded to me like a very snooty tone, said, "we don't carry that size here."
I wasn't shocked. Very few brands seemed to make shoes in my size. I wasn't even that disappointed. But the shame ran deep.
The messages I received that day were, "you're too big, you don't belong, you will never be a "lady," and you're disgusting." The "solution," it seemed, was to fit into the pretty little foot prisons that society had created for me. Alas: 1) a size 11 foot cannot be crammed into a size 9 no matter how much discomfort one is willing to endure; and 2) I was already quite firm on my distaste for "appropriate" boxes and labels.
Fast forward a few decades. My favorite brand of running shoe recently started offering women's size 12. Following a divine whisper, I ordered a pair. My feet--the feet that are wrong, the feet that are too big, the feet that will "never" be ladylike--have never had so much space. The calluses that I thought were just part of my foot are getting smaller. My feet have room to relax, to expand, and to take up the space they want to take up. Finally.
So many of us get messages that we don't belong, that we don't fit in, that we're too much, that we're too loud, that we're too sensitive, that we're doing it wrong. We feel that we are supposed to fit into the boxes that society has created for us. This is the conditioning that pulls us away from the truth of our soul's blueprint.
Every single being on this planet is here to take up space. Every single one of us is here to expand and to grow. Every single one of us is here to own our unique way of being in the world.
Where are you rubbing against a box that is too small for you? In what direction is your soul craving expansion?
I love you.
Love,
Kelsey
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